I had been thinking about it for years, those quiet nights alone when my mind wandered to places I never admitted out loud.
It started as a vague curiosity, a flicker when I watched certain scenes online or caught myself staring a second too long at a guy in the gym. But it was always just fantasy until the night I met Derek at that bar downtown.
We had been chatting online for a couple weeks after matching on an app. He was thirty-two, confident without being pushy, and he knew I had never been with a man before. I told him straight up in our messages: this was my first time exploring anything like this. He didn't laugh or push; he just said he liked guiding someone through it. That made my stomach twist in a good way.
When we finally met in person, the air between us felt thick. We grabbed drinks and talked about everything except what we both knew was coming. His hand brushed mine when he reached for his beer, and I didn't pull away. By the time we got back to his apartment, my heart was hammering so hard I could feel it in my throat. The door clicked shut behind us and he looked at me with this calm, steady gaze.
"You sure about this?" he asked, voice low.
I nodded. "Yeah. I want to try."
He stepped closer, letting me set the pace. We kissed first, slow and testing. His lips were firmer than I expected, his stubble rough against my skin. My hands found his waist and I pulled him in, feeling the solid heat of his body. We moved to the couch and he sat back, legs spread a little, giving me space to decide.
I knelt between his knees because it felt right. My fingers trembled as I reached for his belt. He watched me the whole time, not rushing, just breathing evenly. When I unzipped him and freed his cock, it was already half-hard, thick and warm in my palm. The sight of it up close made my mouth water in a way that surprised me.
I leaned in and pressed my lips to the head, tasting salt and skin. The texture was different from anything I had imaginedsmooth, velvety, with a slight give under my tongue. I licked once, experimental, and heard him exhale above me. That sound gave me courage. I opened my mouth and took the head inside, letting my tongue explore the ridge underneath. It felt intimate in a way that made my own cock ache untouched.
I started slow, bobbing my head gently, trying to take a little more each time. My jaw stretched and I had to breathe through my nose. Saliva built up fast, making everything slick. Derek's hand rested lightly on the back of my head, not pushing, just guiding. "That's good," he murmured. "Use your hand too."
I wrapped my fingers around the base and stroked in time with my mouth. The combination felt natural after a minute. I focused on the way he swelled against my tongue, the way the vein pulsed when I pressed just right. Every time I glanced up, his eyes were half-lidded, watching me with raw hunger that made me want to do better.
I lost track of time down there. My knees started to ache on the carpet but I didn't care. I tried taking him deeper, gagging a little when he hit the back of my throat. He groaned and that noise went straight through me. I pulled off for a breath, strings of spit connecting my lips to his cock, then went back down harder, hungrier.
He warned me before he came, voice tight. I had the choice and I stayed. The first pulse hit my tongue, hot and bitter-salty. I swallowed without thinking, then kept sucking through the rest, milking every drop until he gently eased me off. My lips felt swollen and my chin was wet. I was breathing hard, my own erection straining painfully in my jeans.
Derek pulled me up onto the couch with him and kissed me again, tasting himself on my mouth. His hand slid down to rub me through my pants and I came almost instantly, grinding against his palm with a choked sound. We stayed like that for a while, breathing together.
Later, lying in his bed with the lights low, I told him how it felthow nervous I had been, how the reality was messier and better than the fantasy. He listened without judgment, tracing patterns on my chest. I knew this was only the beginning, but that first time had already changed something in me. I wanted more. I wanted to get better at it, to feel him lose control because of my mouth again.
And I did, many times after that night. But nothing ever quite matched the raw, trembling discovery of that very first time on my knees.
