I had been married for eight years when the thought first took root. Sarah and I had a good life, steady jobs, a house in the suburbs, but something inside me had gone quiet.
I told myself it was just stress, then midlife curiosity, until the night I found myself in a dimly lit bar two towns over, heart hammering as a man named Derek slid onto the stool beside me.
He was older, broad-shouldered, with salt-and-pepper stubble and eyes that didnt look away. We talked for an hour about nothing importantsports, work, the weatherwhile the air between us thickened. When he asked if I wanted to come back to his place for a drink, I said yes before I could invent an excuse. My wedding ring felt heavy on my finger.
His apartment was small and clean. He poured two whiskeys and sat close on the couch. The first kiss surprised me with its roughness; the second left no doubt what we were doing. I had never kissed a man before. His tongue was firmer, his stubble scraping my chin, and the low sound he made when I pressed back sent heat straight down my spine.
Dereks hand found the front of my jeans. I was already hard, painfully so. He rubbed me through the denim, then unbuttoned me with steady fingers. When he freed my cock, he stroked it slowly, watching my face. Youve never done this, have you? he asked. I shook my head. He smiled, not unkindly. Well go slow.
I reached for him in return. The moment my hand closed around another mans cockthick, hot, already leakingI felt something inside me shift. It was heavier than I expected, the skin silky but the shaft rigid. I stroked him the way I liked to be touched, learning the weight, the way the head flared. Derek groaned and pushed his hips forward.
He guided me down until I was on my knees between his spread thighs. My face was inches from his cock. The scent was clean skin and musk, nothing like perfume. I licked my lips without thinking. Dereks hand rested lightly on the back of my head, not pushing, just resting there.
Take your time, he said.
I leaned in and pressed my lips to the head. The taste was faint, salty-sweet. I opened my mouth wider and let the crown slide over my tongue. The sensation of fullness was immediate and strange and deeply arousing. I sucked gently, learning how much I could take before my throat tightened. Dereks breathing grew heavier above me. His fingers threaded through my hair, guiding without forcing.
I found a rhythmslow slides down, hollowing my cheeks on the way up, swirling my tongue around the head each time I pulled back. Every time he twitched or moaned, I felt a surge of pride and hunger. My own cock throbbed untouched between my legs. I reached down and stroked myself while I sucked him, the dual sensation almost too much.
Dereks voice was low and rough. Thats it. Youre doing so well for your first time. The words made me moan around him. I took him deeper, feeling the head nudge the back of my throat. I gagged once, pulled off, then went back for more. Saliva ran down my chin; I didnt care. All I wanted was to feel him pulse on my tongue, to know I was the one making him lose control.
He warned me before he came. I could have pulled away, but I didnt. I stayed there, mouth open, and took the first hot spurt across my tongue. The taste was stronger than I expectedbitter, thickbut the sheer intimacy of it kept me in place. I swallowed what I could, the rest spilling over my lips. Dereks hand tightened in my hair as he finished, hips jerking in small, helpless thrusts.
When he was done, he pulled me up and kissed me deeply, tasting himself on my mouth. Then he pushed me back on the couch and returned the favor, sucking me with practiced skill until I came hard down his throat. Afterward we lay there catching our breath, the reality of what I had done settling over me like a warm, heavy blanket.
I went home that night with the taste still on my tongue and the knowledge that something fundamental had changed. I was still married. I still loved Sarah. But I also knew I would be back. The hunger had been fed once, and it was already waking again, stronger.
